marathon training

marathon training

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Holy Snot Rockets, Spring Is Here!

The thermometer says 50! 50!!! I finally want to scream from the roof tops "spring is finally here!" after the HELL winter we had on Long Island. Probably the worst winter I can ever remember living here my whole life. So, I don't care who hears me as I get ready to scream to the heavens that spring is here, but then I get a pollen ball clogging my throat, which then turns my moment of exuberance into a moment of screw you spring and the wrath of allergy fury that is about to explode through my body. But, it's a fleeting moment of scorn when I realize that finally layers can be ditched, gloves, and hats are to be once again buried deep into my cedar closet, and  long pants replaced by light-as-feather running shorts or bike shorts. I can see the minutes shaved off my race times, just for the sheer fact I have put away 40 pounds of fabric weighing me down for the last few months.

The Winter did have its moments of shining breakthroughs. I managed to not break any bones or have any major spills, which that alone is deserving of a medal for me. I learned the beauty of a product called yaktrax which I know might sound like the result of a nauseous deer that had one to many cocktails at a wild forest rave. Instead it's this ingenious little contraption with metal you attach to your running sneaker so you can run with traction through the snow. Why, would you ask, would anyone want to go and run when there is a snow covering everything? Because we are nuts. And nuts is fun. Its a simple as that.

Skiing is probably the only thing that I love about Winter. I do thoroughly enjoy strapping long pieces of death traps to horribly painful torture devices called "boots", and hurling myself down a mountain covered in ice. Usually this form of torture is joined with long weekends of family bonding and fireplaces which in my book is winter perfection. Also, seeing my little ones progressing on their tiny snowboards is just such a blast to watch.

This winter also brought newly acquired skills. I progressed from the doggy paddle to a full fledged I CAN SWIM, as I prepared for my first triathlons this upcoming season. Also, jealous of both my male and female running /training partners and their award winning skill of snot rocketing, I finally worked my way up to give it the ol' college try. The conditions had to be just right. Cold: Check. Over production of nasal excretions: Check. Running alone: Check. It was time. I geared up. I placed one finger on the opposing nostril to free the other for full force of expulsion. I knew the beauty that would come as I watched others shoot rockets in hard, steady streams landing feet in front of them, and the satisfaction that came from the over abundance of fresh clean air that replaced the former clogged tunnel. It was my turn now.  I let it rip. There was no glamour. There was no steady stream. There was no fresh air tearing up through my cold, energy sapped body. There was only boogers, and these damn boogers were EVERYWHERE. All over my damn face. From my face to my gloves, my gloves to my shirt. NEVER AGAIN. I will continue my next million winters with my clothing happily stuffed with tissues and damp sleeves;  there was no medals for me in the snot rocket category. I will remain jealous of my teammates every winter to come.

So as I was finishing up writing this piece, I had paused and checked my facebook updates. There is a man in  my feed who practices meteorology as a hobby. He states the possibility of snow is in the forecast for next week. I laugh, because all I can figure to do at this point is laugh. Snow or no snow, I will still revel in the sound of those birds chirping outside my window, the buds on the trees, my silky, smooth, light as a feather running shorts and take a deep, allergy-induced pollen clogged breath and smile. Spring is here!

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